One of the biggest challenges faced by survivors of abuse and sexual trauma is processing feelings of shame about what happened to us.
So often we can blame ourselves, thinking we could or should have done something differently.
We hold on to the belief that “if only I’d…then…” because it gives us some sense of control over our experience.
We tell ourselves things like: “If I’d fought back then maybe I could have escaped”. Or “If I’d been better or smarter or more lovable then this never would have happened..”
Holding on to shame and the belief that what happened to us was “our fault”, can preserve a sense of agency and hope; keeping us from spiraling into despair.
Shame and self blame may have kept us alive back then – but it’s likely keeping us stuck today.
This is why it’s so important for us to begin to release this old belief; letting go of shame and acknowledging that what happened was never our fault.
We did not cause the abuse, nor could we have prevented it.
As we sit with this difficult truth, we also have to sit with the grief and hopelessness that there was nothing we could have done to change or prevent what happened to us.
I know it may feel challenging, but this can be a gradual and gentle process.
As you tap along with me today, please know that releasing even 1% of this shame and self blame – will make a big difference in your life! 😃
Your courage in creating a safe space to grieve will in turn bring new hope and possibilities to your life.
Leave a ♥ if you’re ready to release shame and breathe a little deeper.
Sending you so much love and compassion today! 🌷🌱
