With stock markets fluctuating wildly, years of inflation driving up food prices, and economic uncertainty dominating the headlines, it’s no wonder that financial stress and anxiety is creeping into everyday conversations and impacting so many aspects of daily life.
These external pressures can be difficult for anyone, but for those of us with a trauma history, they can trigger something much deeper – a feeling that our survival is under threat.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or anxious right now, or like financial uncertainty is bringing up memories of scarcity; times when you didn’t have enough – when resources were tight, controlled, or withheld, please know that you’re not alone. 💗
During the financial crash in 2008, my husband Alex’s real-estate business collapsed, and we could no longer pay our mortgage.
I remember the knot of dread in my stomach every time I went to the grocery store. I’d shop as frugally as I could, then wait in line, heart pounding, staring at the floor. Would my card go through? Would it be declined? We lived on a shoe-string for what felt like an eternity, cutting every possible expense.
When I got pregnant with our first child later that year, we were so nervous to tell people. What were we thinking?! We weren’t in a “stable-enough” financial position to be bringing a child into the world. But, it turned out to be the joy and hope-filled news everyone needed to lift our spirits and keep on going – and we were blessed to have family help with essentials like a crib and baby clothes..
Though we’re fortunate to be in a much better place financially now, I’ll never forget that grocery-store dread – that sensation of the ground disappearing beneath my feet, or the sleepless nights worrying about how to support our growing family.
Perhaps you can relate? Maybe your stress centers around:
⚠️ A recent job loss
⚠️ Redundancy
⚠️ Long-term sick leave?
⚠️ Increasing childcare costs or elder care
Or perhaps your worries today are bringing up old childhood memories of financial turbulence from back then – when your parents would fight constantly about money, food or bills?
It’s so important for us to understand that financial uncertainty and instability in our adult lives today can bring up events, memories and experiences that were imprinted on our body, minds and nervous systems a long time ago-even in early childhood.
And – that those early events and memories – especially for those of us with trauma histories – can resurface or trigger anxiety in the here and now as current events unfold.
Although it’s easy to see how my increased stress when scrolling the news today might stem from the financial struggles early in my marriage, what’s less obvious, but just as important for me to explore, is how my old childhood patterns and beliefs about scarcity (especially around food) can still sometimes be triggered and impact me in stressful times like these.
When I was growing up, food (just like love) was often withheld as a form of punishment and control.
There was one food-shop per week. That was “feast time”. But by the end of the week, supplies had dwindled and it was “famine.” On top of that, only “good kids” got fed and “bad kids” went without.
Sugary treats and consumables like perfume were “gifted” to me after abuse, as a means to implicate, confuse and silence me – ensuring both shame and compliance.
Food became a source of comfort and solace and its lack – a source of shame and self-punishment.
Later, I internalized a different, but equally confusing message from my father around money – that I must earn well enough to be self-sufficient and not be a “drain on society”, but not well enough to earn more than him – that somehow there was a “hierarchy of financial success” that I must not deviate from. And if I did well enough to surpass him financially, I would face judgement, rejection and more shame.
These early wounds created a complicated relationship for me around the ideas of financial security, success, loveability, and abandonment that took years for me to untangle.
Having enough money equaled security – but too much would lead to rejection. A difficult balance to strike.
As we know – rarely is anything just about the worries and stresses of today.
Today is the tip of the iceberg.
Take a moment right now to pause and reflect on what might be going on under the surface for you. What is today’s uncertain financial climate bringing up for you? 🤔
Whatever it might be, and whatever’s coming up for you, I want to share a short tapping sequence with you that might help ease some of that stress and tension right now. 😀🌷
Let’s take a few minutes to tap together. Find a quiet space if you can, and follow along, either out loud, or in your head:
**Take a moment to notice any areas of tension or constriction in your body (a knot in your stomach, tightness in your jaw, bracing in your legs). Rate this tension on a scale of 0-10 where 0 is no tension and 10 is the most tension. **
Now take as deep of a breath as you can and let’s begin:
Setup (Side of Hand): “Even though money worries are putting my body on high alert, I’m open to understanding where this is coming from, and I’m open to feeling a little bit safer today.”
Tapping Sequence:
💫 Eyebrow: This deep fear around not having enough money
💫 Side of Eye: My body remembers what scarcity feels like
💫 Under Eye: When the grocery store felt like a place of shame
💫 Under Nose: Picking the cheapest item off the menu
💫 Chin: That knot in my stomach when bills arrive
💫 Collarbone: The panic when there’s not enough to cover even the basics
💫 Under Arm: My nervous system learned that scarcity equals danger
💫 Top of Head: And these difficult economic times are triggering those old memories
Take a gentle breath in and out. Place a supportive hand wherever you feel any remaining tension in your body right now.
As you do so, notice what’s coming up for you. A memory? A feeling (sadness, anger, shame, fear?) And let’s continue..
🌿 Eyebrow: I honor how hard I worked to survive back then
🌿 Side of Eye: I acknowledge all of my feelings and any worries coming up right now
🌿 Under Eye: I have resources now – like strength and courage – that I didn’t have before
🌿 Under Nose: I’m allowed to thrive and earn what I deserve
🌿 Chin: My worth isn’t tied to what I earn or possess
🌿 Collarbone: I can feel these fears without being consumed by them
🌿 Under Arm: I’ve navigated difficult times before
🌿 Top of Head: And whatever comes, I’ll find my way through this too
Place one hand over your heart, and one hand over your belly while taking a deep breath in then out. Reminding yourself that even when external circumstances feel uncertain, you can still create moments of internal safety and calm.
💕 Eyebrow: I still feel this uncertainty and worry in my __________(fill in the blank with the part of your body)
💕 Side of Eye: But it feels a little less right now
💕 Under Eye: I can breathe a little deeper
💕 Under Nose: Knowing that I’m doing my best
💕 Chin: And right now, in this moment – I AM ok
💕 Collarbone: Maybe I can take it just one minute and one day at a time
💕 Under Arm: I don’t have to fix it all right now
💕 Top of Head: I’m doing my best, and that feels like a bit of a relief.
Take one more nice, deep breath and maybe a big stretch. Check back in with any areas of tension or constriction. Notice how your body feels now?
What number 0-10 were you at when we started this tapping sequence? And where are you at right now? Has that number or feeling shifted at all? Has anything else come up? Any new awarenesses?
Now that you’ve taken a few moments for yourself to tap today – how did it feel? What did you notice?
Did it help create even a tiny bit more breathing room around your financial stresses or worries? Remember – every shift, no matter how big or small really matters. 🥰
You can repeat this tapping as often as you need or want to. It’s absolutely ok to add or change any words that make it feel just right for you. 🌷
And, even though tapping may not change our circumstances, it can help us respond more resourcefully from our present-day, grounded-adult selves, rather than from our past, unresolved wounds or triggers.
I love hearing from you, leave a comment below and let me know how you’re doing now.
Sending you so much compassion today. 💛
With you on this journey,
Karen 🌼
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Hi Karen,
I have a lot of memories around scarcity when it comes to money and food that stem from my childhood. My father was a drunk and wouldn’t give my mom money for food at times. She would steal it from his wallet or she would ask her dad for help.
Raising my children as a single mom made it really tough. I was very resourceful and I still am to this day. My children are now grown men and we survived.
I am grateful I have learned to be frugal and stretch the dollar as far as I can.
I have many underlying emotional traumas that need to be released. I did the Tapping that you shared and thank you for taking the time.
Much love,
Donna
Darn, I noticed some typos. I don’t know how to go back and fix them. I hope my messages understood. 🤦🏼♀️
I fixed them for you Donna – but don’t worry – it was and is absolutely understood. 🙂
Hi Donna,
Thank you for sharing so openly and bravely. I’m so sorry for all you experienced both growing up and with your own children too. You’re extremely courageous and resourceful. I’m glad you tried the tapping exercise. Please be gentle with yourself – this can be such a big topic for so many people.
Sending you lots of love today. 🥰
Karen, you struck a nerve with me on this one! I didn’t realize until I read your blog and only recently I had an epiphany! I only remembered very recently that whenever she abused me she would give me a candy bar. So whenever I feel stressed I tend to reach for a sweet! As I’m writing this I think I know what I should do but thought I’d run it by you. I think I should tell myself this is now, that was a long time ago, they are not here to hurt you anymore as I reach for a goody. Think that might be the way to go? Thank you so much for all you do!
Hi Carol – yes that sounds like exactly the right thing for you to say. I’m so glad you’ve made this connection and are having this new awareness. It will allow you to uncouple feelings of stress from the old survival behavior of reaching for sugar or “goodies” as you say.
If you notice that “reaching for” feeling almost automatic, like a compulsion, or if you feel any resistance coming up when you begin to release this pattern – see if it helps to say “I can eat this candy bar in 1 minute (or 5 minutes)-but first, I’m going to allow myself to sit with this uncomfortable feeling just for a moment.” This will allow you to start practicing pausing and creating a little space between what has been wired/conditioned and automatic – and the new behavior you’d like to start instead. You might begin to notice what’s been hidden by the sugar – could be sadness, anger, grief – or something else. But please know you are strong and you can do this.
I hope this helps a little Carol. Please let me know how it goes. 😃
This post was really powerful Karen. For me it brought up issues of always fearing running out of money/losing our home and having clothing limited to hand me downs from older relatives or bargain basement sales. It’s only been relatively recent that I worked through the past money patterns and I’m starting to be able to stop stock piling clothing. I hit a seven year cycle of adversity in 2009 when I walked off my long term job and then couldn’t find another one that was stable for almost seven years. That experience forced me to work through the childhood karma cycle and calm down, tapping has helped too. As I did the tapping you suggested, I realized that it’s time to release clothing/supplies/and items from my prior life that are cluttering up the now for me. Thanks for putting this out there!
Hi Mary,
Thank you for sharing your experience with this. It makes so much sense why you would turn to stock-piling clothing. I’m so glad you’ve been able to do some tapping around this and begin to release these old patterns. I know it can be so challenging – you’re doing amazing and powerful healing work Mary. Take good care of you, Karen 😃