I’m writing this to you in silence – literally.🤐
It’s been almost 8 weeks since I lost my voice back in April – when what started out as a head cold and laryngitis, developed into nodules on my vocal cords.
I saw an ENT specialist who prescribed total vocal rest. Not an easy feat if you’ve ever tried it! Though I have to say – I’ve become pretty good at miming and my kids are getting better at reading my lips and my scrawly-handwriting! 😆
I go back to the doctor tomorrow for another vocal-cord scope, and I’m hoping for good news. 🍀
The first scope was pretty unpleasant – not least because the anesthetic meant I couldn’t feel myself swallowing for almost an hour afterwards – which triggered my gag reflex and a panic attack. But that’s a subject for another day! 😳💕
I’ve gargled salt water, taken every recommended supplement, journaled about my feelings, tapped through my emotions, used so many steam treatments that my skin is glowing! I’ve eaten healing foods, drunk slippery elm tea🤢, avoided caffeine, slept extra hours. You name it, I’ve tried it!
But sometimes, despite our best efforts and intentions, we can’t fix the thing that’s “broken”. 💗
Perhaps it’s a serious health diagnosis that isn’t responding to treatment, an injury that’s healing slower than you hoped, a relationship that can’t be mended, or a work situation that feels impossible to change.
Whatever it is for you, please know that I see you – and I’m right here with you. 🤗
Here’s what I’ve been gently learning during my vocal-sabbatical and what I’d love to share with you today:
Even when we can’t change our external circumstances, we can still shift how we feel about what we’re going through. And even in the most difficult of times, we can soften the intensity of how we get through them.
1 – Let yourself feel your feelings – yes – all of them (in little-titrated pieces) 🌿
I’ve discovered there’s real freedom in acknowledging how I feel. Allowing myself to feel angry about losing my voice – frustrated about missing conversations with friends, and grief about not being able to express myself, stand up for my kids – or even simple pleasures like being able to sing in the shower or the car (something I never realized brought me so much joy!) 🎶
Allowing myself to sit with the feelings of loneliness and isolation as they emerged has been especially healing. And has created space for expression in other creative ways.
These emotions aren’t “negative” – they’re honest responses to loss and limitation. And when we try to push them away or perhaps spiritualize them too quickly, they can get stuck in our bodies.
Take a moment to think about your own situation: What feelings have you been trying to rush past? What might happen if you gave yourself permission to sit with those feelings instead?
2 – Gently notice what remains available to you 💫
Even voiceless, I can still write these words to you.
I offer silent mama-bear hugs to my children, listen more deeply (to myself and others) than I ever have before, and communicate through gentle touch and presence. My world has gotten quieter, but in some ways, richer too.
There’s something powerful about discovering what’s still possible within our current limitations – it often reveals strengths and capacities we never knew we had.
3 – Honor what our old “normal” felt like 🌷
This experience has filled me with a deep appreciation for the simple act of speaking. Something that if I’m honest – I took for granted.
The ease of making a phone call, chatting with a friend, interacting in the grocery store, or laughing with my husband. When this does heal, I know I’ll appreciate these things – and more – in ways I never did before.
Sometimes we need to lose something temporarily to truly understand its meaning in our lives.
I wonder – what are you learning from your current situation? What aspects of it, once resolved, will you no longer take for granted?
4 – Practice surrendering to the natural timeline 💛
My body – like yours – is wise and is healing on its own schedule, not according to my impatient wishes or practical needs. It’s been a process, but I’m finally learning to release my grip on controlling the “when” and instead trust the “how” that’s unfolding beyond my conscious understanding.
This doesn’t mean being passive – I’m still doing everything I can to support my healing. But I’m learning to hold my efforts a little more lightly, without pressure or attachment to immediate results.
Maybe you can relate to this kind of impatience or desire to hurry things up..? But I’m curious – where might you be fighting against a timeline that isn’t yours to set?
5 – Look for the unexpected gifts hidden in the difficulty ✨
This enforced quiet-time has become an unexpected teacher for me. With more time for contemplation and reflection – I’m learning about different kinds of listening; about patience I didn’t know I possessed, about connecting with others through presence rather than words.
And – I’m learning about the different reasons people feel the need to fill the void with words. Are they feeling uncomfortable? Nervous? Why do we babble? Can we just be?
There’s wisdom emerging from this challenge that I could not have accessed any other way.
That’s not to say that every difficult experience has a silver lining, or that “everything happens for a reason”.. no!
But rather, that many situations and circumstances do hold teachings – if we’re even just a little bit open and willing to get curious.
What might this challenging season or situation be offering you that you couldn’t learn in other ways?
Sometimes the most compassionate thing we can do for ourselves is to stop trying to fix, change, or rush our situation – and instead softly ask: “How can I be with this differently today?”
Not because we’re giving-up or being passive, but because we’re choosing calm over control – while we wait for things to naturally shift.
Like a swimmer learning to float instead of flailing-frantically against a current that’s stronger than we are. Perhaps we can find a little more ease and a little less struggle today. 🌊
Whatever you’re navigating that feels beyond your control right now, please know that I see you. Your feelings about it are completely valid. The frustration, the sadness, the longing for things to be different – all of it makes perfect sense.
And you’re doing so much better than you think you are. 🌷
I’d love to hear from you – leave a comment right here on the blog and let me know: What’s one thing you’re learning to sit with – even when it’s uncomfortable – instead of trying to change?
With you on this path,
Karen 🌊🌸
The Grief Nobody Talks About: Why Healing Hurts More Before It Gets Better
Father’s Day Healing: From Forcing to Allowing Yourself to Be
How to Soften the Struggle When Life Feels Out of Your Control: 5 Things I Learned From Losing My Voice
Oh Karen, how can your messages come to me when I need them the most without sitting there trying to figure out why I’m upset. In reading your post today all of a sudden it hit me. I’m had been talking to a girl at work about my childhood abuse/ sexual abuse and she said I have to forgive them. So this is what is bothering my IBS! Karen, I know this sounds horrible but I’m struggling so bad with that. I just can’t accept how they did that to me. I don’t know how to forgive them and I don’t know how to handle that.
Further I’m just feeling so very sorry for your loss of speech. I wish I could help you but I can’t even help myself!
Thank you for all you do❣️❣️🥰
Hi Carol, I’m so sorry that you had that experience with your colleague. That sounds like it was really hurtful and invalidating to hear. I’m really glad that my blog reached you at the right time for you. Please know that you do not owe them forgiveness. I’m actually going to send you a longer message privately with a few tapping prompts – so please do look out for that. Thank you for your well-wishes Carol. I’m thinking of you today. Karen 💕☀️
Hi Karen!!! I strongly agree with Carol. I started reading your post and it was like OMG,SHE KNOWS WHAT I’M GOING TROUGH…(That happens constantly with your posts)
In my case,right now I’m learning to sit with my shadow, a deep sense of rage, anger and resentment,along with a devastating feeling of emptiness,lost of faith and a tremendous tiredness.It’ s not a pretty picture,for sure.
Furthermore,I feel completely alone and misunderstood… It’s being a really hard time…
Thanks for offering this space to feel heard and understood.
Hi Yai,
I’m really glad my posts feel timely for you. I’m so sorry to hear about what you’re experiencing. That sounds so incredibly challenging. Please know that it will pass. Hang in there and keep going – one moment and one day at a time. You matter and things will get better if you can just hold on. I’m here for you – cheering you on. And I know that others in this community can relate to where you’re at and are holding space for you too. Sending you love and compassion today Yai. 🥰
So sorry for your voice’s loss. I hope it goes better, if not, Can I send you healing energy for that? if so, May I share this to send you energy healing from a group of people I belong?
Hi Fernando,
Thank you so much for your kind words and offer of energy healing. That would be greatly appreciated.🥰
Karen 🌸
Dear Karen,
Very touched by this post and hope you will have good news tomorrow. You know all about the energy blocks that come back years later in odd ways. Just wishing you recovery, and having your voice back. Losing one’s voice is not a small thing, getting it back will be powerful and meaningful;
Sending you love and light to your throat chakra;
Experiencing a life-transformative period here where lots of decisions need to be made, dreams shattered, and hopes gone. Opening to the next phase when I thought this was it. Such a journey…
Hi Magalie,
I’m so glad this post resonated with you. I truly appreciate you sending love and light to my throat chakra. I’m sorry to hear about the shattering of your dreams and hopes that have gone. I do trust that this will be the beginning of a new phase and chapter in your life. One that will perhaps only make sense in retrospect in the coming months and years. It is a journey indeed – and I’m so glad that you’re here Magalie. Sending you love today,
Karen 🥰
Hi Karen,
Another thing I have been doing is saying the Rosary every day with my petition prayer for miracles from Our Lady of Fatima, from Youtube. Being a catholic who has faltered on the way, the new pope, I am impressed with and received a set of rosary beads from my local priest after I had a serious illness last year which I was told was a near death experience. I am here writing to you in Tasmania with a practice like you with everything going wrong waiting for my next guidance in this transitional year.
Have a good day. Fond regards Trish Edman Counselling
Hi Trish,
What a thoughtful gift from your priest. I’m so glad to hear you’re finding comfort in your faith again. Wishing you good health and healing for this year.
Karen 🌸